STRESSING LESS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE

I took a much-needed long, but fast paced walk, on Sunday. The same road that has taken me around the cow and sheep fields brought me this time on another well-worn dirt path, up and down over streams and undulating valleys, and eventually to Massey University.

The last month has been brutal. The introduction chapter is not going well as I’m having difficulty focusing on what I am writing. After plodding for a while through the introductory section to this first chapter (it started slow, then surprisingly, began to flow out through my finger tips and began to take shape), I suddenly lost all desire to discuss the historical and thematic context of the chapter. This was unfortunate for me because this section comprises a big chunk of the chapter. Hence, the writing experience has been akin to treading water with me barely staying afloat – even doggy paddling on the surface of the water - metaphorically speaking, of course.
 

I’m also disappointed to learn that the behavioural patterns I’m seeing from a few of the doctorate students who have direct access to my personal space as being not so different from that of people in Amherst. (While I was preparing my manuscript for the publisher, I found old versions of draft book chapters on my flash drive after having proofread them). Here, at Massey, on occasion I’ll discover my notations I've made on paper about readings I've completed and relevant articles I’ve printed containing comments on the sidebars and underlining of relevant bits disappearing from my office work space. As I try to meet deadlines and move forward towards the end of this first year, I feel mentally and emotionally drained from having to rewrite revisions I’ve already made. It’s frustrating and is a tremendous headache I don’t need, especially at this point in my program.

At the same time, I feel a little shut down because of important papers that have gone unsigned. With so many deadlines to meet, the bureaucratic side of graduate school should progress smoothly, but that’s not what I’m discovering.

At least there is the sanctuary of my room, where I can shut out the cacophonous, often troublesome, energy of the outside world. And, of course, I have those long walks in which I regularly indulge, when I can liberally vent and vocalize my angst, without the restraints of conscience, against those planned/strategized/intending to sabotage ME over which I have absolutely no control.

Oh, did I mention that I signed up for the free, stress-less workshops offered at the university. The e-mail announcement read that these workshops are good for those times when the battles seem insurmountable or bigger than they really are. Screaming hate and demanding, “off with their *%$&)&@*###@ heads!!!!,” is not the best antidote for these challenging moments, I’m learning.

During these times, my mind strays over to the doctorate students at the University of Auckland and wonder, “what are those guys doing over there; what seminars are they attending?” I even pine a little over all the events planned this year around Auckland city, gauging from the announcements that somehow keep dropping into my cyber network.
 

Next on the list – photos of my favourite places around town just for you.