While on a public computer, one early Saturday
afternoon at the Botany library, I sighted a widget-sized ad for a
poetry-writing workshop given by the New Zealand poet-extraordinaire, Robert Sullivan.
A former lecturer at the University of Hawaii, Sullivan is known by at least
one of his former students as a “good teacher”. In local Hawaii speak, this
compliment translates into one who possess the teaching techniques that help
student overcome their fear of writing, and to develop a writing finesse
reflective of the student’s perspective of his/her place in the world. Since
this student’s utterance of Sullivan’s effective teaching capabilities, I made
a mental note to take a free workshop with him if the opportunity ever came up. Ten years later, Sullivan and I met again, though clandestinely, through
this ad inviting seasoned and budding writers to attend. In the second week of
February, on a hot and dry Tuesday afternoon, I did just that.
The workshop, held in the Clendon library, was
attended by about 20 people. Admittedly, I thought it would be more of a
one-way lecture, with Sullivan doing most of the talking. Happily, it turned out
to be very interactive, with the workshop participants doing a lot of writing
and sharing of their creativity. Although the pressure of producing poetic works
triggered minor heart palpitations, I really enjoyed hearing the writings of
others in my group, lovingly putting together words and paragraphs according to
the shadows of their lives. I discovered that free-writing under such
conditions can elicit raw emotion from some, but for me, only strips of
thoughts to be pared down or enhanced at a later time:
A
Sonnet for a Snail
They
like it best after a rainstorm,
Coming
out in droves to drink
The
dew drops that cling to leaves;
Stroke
their shell, and they move to the next leaf;
Tap
their feelers and they abscond within, without losing their grip.
Peace
Boats
bobbing up and down
To
the placid rhythm of
Waves
lapping onto shore.
Only
emotion endures;
Make
it new.
After this very relaxing outing in the
companion of other writers, I was brought back down to earth by a message about
my research proposal. It was suggested that I make changes to the literature
review section, which were along the lines of making it longer
rather than concise and brief, highlighting only the central concepts, and the
development of the theory in relation to the gaps in the literature. Instead, the
suggested changes were like the others before it – changes that did not really
make improvements, but rather took away from the focus of my study. With the
exception of the feedback from the education consultant and two resilience
theory specialists, whose comments helped to reinforce the boundaries around my
study in order to make clear what it can accomplish rather than not, the
suggestions given by my committee regarding my research proposal have merely caused
my provisional year to stall, with the feedback causing a circular, regressive
motion rather than moving forward in progress.
As I have always done over the last five
months, I read the feedback carefully, prepared to make the necessary changes
in order to pass my provisional year, only to learn what I already knew given
my experience with this committee since writing the first draft of my proposal.
The feedback failed to greatly improve my proposal. And so, the back and forth
continues.
To make it worse, a worker in the
Student Learning Services is implying failure of my provisional year if I do
not make the changes. Funny, I thought I had been doing that all along, which
is the reason I pursued input from a 3rd party, from the education
consultant, who suggested the opposite of what my committee had suggested – to make
it less wordy and more concise rather than wordier.
I am inclined to agree with the education consultant. I have written two
research proposals, which were approved, and with the resulting theses having been
published in peer-reviewed journals and in an academic book after having been reviewed by
peers. Hence, the attitude towards my research proposal is confounding, causing me to
wonder if there is an underlying animosity towards me.
In light of such difficulties, I
consulted the student charter and discovered that my instincts about my
committee’s responsibility were correct after all. The university and thus my
committee is held with the responsibility of ensuring that students are:
2.5. Provide an academic
environment in which students can be stimulated to reach a high level of intellectual
attainment;
2.10. Provide an environment free
from harassment and discrimination, consistent with the Human Rights Act of
1993 and University’s Harassment Policy . . .;
2.13. Provide educational
opportunities;
3.1. Endeavour to act in the best
interests of students through wide consultation (AUSA responsibility).
Rather, in my efforts to resolve my
concerns about the circular feedback, I have been relatively ignored. My
experience with research and resulting publications indicate that I know to
recognize the points of analysis that enhance the central thesis and those that
are better left as footnotes. The rule of thumb in academic writing is not to
trail away on tangents, but at the same time, to also know when to elaborate.
After years of researching, I would say that I have also developed the ability
to recognize research manageability and to carry out research. My record has been
duly documented on my cv and on my professional profile, all of which are verifiable. This experience has enabled me to complete 4 draft chapters of my
PhD thesis, the research proposal, and surveys and interviews. I have contacted
the relevant people in the research sites, letting them know that I will be conducting
my fieldwork there.
Unfortunately for me, I have been
spending much time seeking out legal assistance to advocate for me, rather than
preparing for my fieldwork. This fact is even more unfortunate since I have
already paid for this upcoming semester, the one in which I had hoped to spend
in the field. Hence, the loans continue to rack up and be used inefficiently by
my current university. If any readers out there have any suggestions for how I
can overcoming this very trying situation, please contact me.
